7 - STEPS EIGHT AND NINE

We were willing have God remove our defects of character and prayed that He would, according to page 76, Into Action...

We now find ourselves at Step 8. We make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. This list is created from our moral inventory, the list we created at Step 4. The new list will differ in that we're only looking at what we've done that has caused another person problems or harm and how we might make amends to them.

At last we reach Step 9, what I believe to be the key to our freedom. If there is anything we are unwilling to clean up, we will never overcome our addictions. That is why we made a searching and fearless moral inventory. Take a deep breath. This may seem insurmountable in some cases but do not face this mountain as though you walk alone. Your "Shirpa" walks with you. Trust that the Holy Spirit can and will guide you through every moment of this process until the last amends is made.

In some cases the amends might be directed by the person we owe an apology to. What would they like us to do to make up for our affront?

There may be some instances of having to pay back a person or business for something stolen or abused, in which case it is wise to tack on a fair amount for interest in our restitution.

Perhaps there are some we can only make amends to over the long term by a change in attitude or behavior. This is likely the case for healing broken relationships with family members and sometimes these amends take years.

Some people we owe amends to may not be found or are no longer living. These can be handled with a heartfelt letter and prayers.

Finally, there are some who are far away whom we can only deal with by phone or letter.

God's word doesn't say alot about amends but what it does say is poignant. The Gibeonites were sworn to protection by Israel and King Saul attacked them. David saw fit to clean up the mess on behalf of his people and those they'd made a promise to.

2 Sam 21:33 David asked the Gibeonites, "What shall I do for you? How shall I make amends?

Proverbs 14:8-9
The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.
9 Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.

In all cases, amends should be handled with prayer. Personally, I believe wise counsel should be sought for each instance from a sponsor or spiritual leader such as your pastor. Share your ideas on how you think you should best make amends. Listen and accept feedback and advice about how best to proceed. Especially in the case of writing letters. Have someone proof read and edit before sending to be sure you're reader receives a genuine heartfelt apology and not empty words. You'll also want to be careful to write when you're in the right frame of mind and heart.

I was just ready to write a letter to my sister when something happened that put a bad taste in my mouth which would interfere with the sincere desire I had to patch things up with her. It became necessary to put that one on the back burner until I could write with a loving heart.

Pray and allow the Holy Spirit to speak through you so that God will be glorified.

Father, we want to be like Jesus - always honest but sharing the truth in love. Help us now with all those we have offended, to make our amends in ways that will benefit the recipient and glorify You. Would You guide and direct our voices and actions to reflect the light of Christ. In Jesus' precious name we pray, amen.